Flaming Feats and Candy Treats
by Smash King24
Summary: It's everyone's favorite time of year again: Halloween. And Falcon is in debt to ALOT of people. When he decides to take Lucas Trick or Treating, he secretly plots to sell the candy to Wario, the rich man. Unfortunately, everyone else wants in on his loot, and chaos most certainly ensues...
1. Big Things Come In Small Packages

Flaming Feats and Candy Treats

**Author's Note:** Ah, Halloween, one of my most favorite time of year. Nothing beats the thrill of running around in the dark dressed as Freddy Kruger and scaring the living souls out of unfortunate trick or treaters. But our story today, my children, is far from any horrifying experience like you've ever imagined! Because with every terrifying Horror story, comes an even more enjoyable Humor. And that, my children, is the theme of this year's holiday two-part special. Please, don't hesitate. Dig in! Muahahaha!

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Chapter 1: Big Things Come In Small Packages

"Game Set!"

"Aw, you got to be KIDDING me!" shouted Captain Falcon as he threw all his cash to the ground of the Battlefield.

The brawny blue haired swordsman on the other side of the stage slammed his blade into the ground, dropping his bag of loot at the same time.

"Sorry, Falcon, looks like I won the Coin Match," said Ike as he made a triumphant pose by crossing his arms.

Falcon glared at the swordsman and stomped over to him, completely ignoring his lost change below his feet.

"That's totally unfair! I had you with that Falcon Punch! It should have blasted right past your Counter attack! Like wham!" cried Falcon as he made a quick motion with his fist.

"Hey, hey, take it easy, I was just playing the game. I won fair and square."

Falcon stuck his chin up high at the shorter fighter, but then turned back around and started pacing in the other direction.

"That's the fifth Coin Match I've lost in a roe! I've nearly gone broke! And it sucks because I lost to those damned Ice Climbers TWICE, so I got to pay them QUADRUPLE the cash!"

"Ah, that's just hard luck," replied Ike cooly as he produced a large money sack and started collecting up all of Falcon's coins.

"I need to win! If this keeps up, I'll have to sell my car! Maybe even the Falcon Flyer! Why me!?"

Falcon looked up at the sky with his arms held high, as if he was preaching to the heavens.

"Well, Halloween is tomorrow. Why don't you get some candy and sell it? I'm sure Kirby and Wario would bid hundreds if they were hungry."

Suddenly, Falcon stood up tall with an odd smile on his face, as if a lightbulb had just popped on over his head.

"That's a great idea, Ike! If I get a ton of candy and sell it, I could even profit! Wario's rich!"

"Heh, well good luck getting candy," said the swordsman as he picked up the last gold coin.

Falcon irked a bit and turned to the blue haired boy sharply.

"What do you mean?" he asked seriously.

"Do you really think people would give candy to a 37 year old man wearing nothing but tights?"

Falcon glanced at his clothes and then back at the swordsman.

"What?"

"People don't give candy to adults, they give them to little kids remember? That IS the whole point of Trick or Treating," said Ike as he walked back across the stage to retrieve his other bag and sword.

"Well, then how the hell am I supposed to get candy?" asked Falcon eagerly, as if Ike was the answer to all his questions.

"Beats me," replied the swordsman as he shrugged his shoulders.

"But I'm sure you'll figure something out. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to count my winnings. Good game, by the way."

With that, Ike summoned the lift to take him off the stage and back to Smash Mansion. Captain Falcon stood there with his hand at his chin, puzzling.

"Hm... So people will only give candy to children eh? Huh. Maybe if I... No that won't do... But what if... Nah, Ganondorf would never pass as a munchkin... Hmmmmm..." Suddenly, something clicked in Falcon's head, causing him to snap his fingers in success. "THAT'S IT!"

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"What?! You want me to go trick or treating with you!?" asked the little blonde boy as hid beneath the coffee table in the living room. "No way! I'm scared of monsters!"

Captain Falcon sighed and crouched down to the PSI boy's level.

"Come on Lucas! Be a pal! Don't you want any candy?" pestered the racer.

Lucas hesitated a bit before replying nervously.

"Why don't you just ask one of the others to go with you?" he asked hopefully.

Falcon slapped himself for having to repeat this to the boy a second time.

"BECAUSE I already asked Ness and Toon Link, and they said they were going to pull some pranks on the others on Halloween night, Mario's too ugly to pass as a kid, the Ice Climbers won't get out of the ice cream freezer (for some reason), Pit's too old, Olimar has no friends, Sonic's a spazz, Kirby, Pikachu and Diddy can't talk, AND ROB's a robot! I asked Snake earlier too, and he was willing to go along with it until I told him he would have to shave his beard, which made him ditch the whole idea. So, you're my only hope left now!"

Lucas still cowered beneath the table, a bit afraid of how to react. He's always been known as the kind of person to stick up for his friends, unless it meant him harm. But there was nothing wrong with Trick or Treating was there? Don't judge him, Lucas loved getting candy on Halloween. Candy was one thing, but monsters, no, they were a whole different story.

"I'm not going!" said the boy stubbornly as he put his hands over his head and closed his eyes.

Falcon stood up unimpressed.

"Lucas, I'm sorry I have to do this..."

"Huh?"

"Falcon!..." cried the racer as his fist ignited into flames.

"Wait wait hold on!"

"PAWNCH!"

Captain Falcon exploded the dry wood of the coffee table, completely obliterating it into nothingness.

Lucas was lying on the carpeted floor, hands over his eyes, as charred pieces of black fluttered down on top of him. Falcon stood triumphantly.

"Don't make me do that again!" he threatened.

"Okay okay! I'll go Trick or Treating with you!" cried the boy as he jumped to his feet. "Just stop setting things on fire!"

"Oh, sorry," said Falcon blushing a bit. "Ahem, anyway, I'm glad you saw things my way. Now, we haven't got much time left. Halloween's tomorrow night, which means we don't have much time to prepare. SO, I took the liberty of throwing this thing together for you!"

Falcon produced a folded black and white skin which the little boy accepted nervously. Lucas held the costume up high, allowing gravity to unfold it on its own.

"A cow?" asked Lucas raising an eyebrow, as if it was some sort of joke.

"Hey, I was on a tight schedule! And a cow was the first thing that came into mind! You'll have to wear it unless you have a better idea."

"Can't I just go as myself?"

"Yeah, if you want Mother 3 fanboys swarming you in the dark..."

"Gah! Okay, I'll take the cow!"

"That-a-boy! Now let's go grab us some candy bags! Oh, and we better make sure everyone knows we're gone so they don't freak out or something," said Falcon as he turned and headed for the door.

Just as he and Lucas took the first step, Master Hand floated into the room.

"Ah, Falcon, there you are," he started. "I was wondering if you recorded that match you and Ike..."

The giant hand stared at the large black marks staining the carpet; he also took the time to glance at each and every one of the black particles floating about the room.

Falcon's face went red again as he rubbed the back of his head with his hand.

"Heh heh, look sir, I can explain every-"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY COFFEE TABLE!"

"Oh snap! Come on, Lucas! We're getting out of here!" cried the racer as he grabbed the costume and dashed at the speed of light past the hand, dragging the unfortunate PSI boy behind him.

Lucas held on for dear life as he felt the fabric of his cow costume stretching before his eyes.

"Captain Falcon! Slow down!" he pleaded as he bounced up and down from the wind blowing by him.

Falcon refused to let go and pumped his legs to their limits down the hall.

"Don't worry! Everything is under control! When we get back, we'll give Master Hand some candy! He'll be sure to forgive us then!"

"You mean forgive YOU!"

"Hey, be quiet, or else you're gonna be wearing the princess costume I made as a backup!"

Lucas zipped his lips tight as the distant image of the angry floating white glove disappeared at the end of the hall.


	2. Some Packages Are Better Off Big

Flaming Feats and Candy Treats

Chapter 2: Some Packages Are Better Off Big

"Aw! A cow, how cute! Here you go little guy!"

The sound of the teenage girl's voice caused Lucas to blush for the twelfth consecutive time that night. He said thank you as she dropped a couple of chocolates into his bag, followed by a quick dash down the driveway and back to Captain Falcon.

"I hate this costume," said Lucas as he ran up to the racer. "It's so embarrassing."

Falcon had his hand above his eyes trying to see great distances down the dark street.

"Huh? What was that?" he asked as he looked down at the short cow.

Lucas' face went red again, but this time out of irritation.

"This thing is so itchy I can barely stand it! How many more houses do we have to do!?" he shouted.

Some of the other kids and parents walking around the county neighborhood glanced at the pair of Smashers, but ignored it figuring it was just a father and son having an argument. Captain Falcon, who was still in his racing uniform, crossed his arms in disappointment.

"You're really tired already? We still have two more blocks to cover! The night is young!" he replied.

"I can't do this anymore! My legs are killing me from all this walking around! Can't you just get the candy yourself?"

"I told you already, I'm too old to trick or treat!" Falcon put a hand to his chin, as if he was solving a math equation. "But... I guess you're right, we have been doing this for a few hours now. Tell you what: Let's do ten more houses and call it a night."

Lucas gave a small sigh in his black and white outfit.

"Alright, fine..."

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Several hours later...

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Falcon stuck his foot up and kicked the front doors of Smash Mansion open forcefully.

"Hey everyone! We're back!" he shouted, hauling a large sack of candy over his shoulder.

Lucas crawled into the foyer behind him weakly.

"Arms... too tired... can't move..." he whispered as he collapsed on the tile flooring.

Falcon slammed the metal doors behind him shut and walked over Lucas' frail body.

"You did good, Lucas, you did good," he said as he marched out of the room happily.

For some reason, none of the Smashers appeared to be anywhere. There were no announcers hollering. There was no sound of pitter-pattering footsteps on the second floor. There was no yelling coming from Link or Ganondorf's rooms.

Strangely, the mansion was completely empty.

"That's weird..." thought Falcon out loud as he waltzed into the barren dining room.

Chairs, place mats and silverware were sorted out accordingly, but again, there was no one here to occupy them.

Earlier that night, the Smashers had all agreed to have their annual Halloween feast. It was already after 10 'o clock, but this of course was already pre-planed. It wouldn't be called a "Halloween feast" unless it did take place after dark. Falcon assumed that everyone else had gone out; they wouldn't be back for a while. The racer dropped his loot of goodies on the end of the table and sat down in the head seat.

"_I thought everyone was staying home for Halloween. Looks like they lucked out_," thought Falcon as he propped his dirty boots up on the table.

"I guess all that's left to do now is to wait until they get back from wherever. Oh man, I can't wait to see the look on Wario's face when he sees my bag of candy! He's probably going to give me ALL of his money!" The racer laughed to himself as images of gold coins and cash filed his mind. "Well, if I'm gonna get paid, I might as well look good!"

Falcon leapt from his chair and darted out of the room to the upstairs, leaving his bag of candy behind.

Lucas was still lying down in the foyer, but the racer brushed past him obliviously. Falcon bolted up the stairs and to his dorm room, where he then proceeded into the bathroom. The sound of hot running water echoed crept throughout the mansion.

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Meanwhile...

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"Wow. Ganondorf, I didn't know you could play the drums so well," said Peach as she led the group of Smashers down the halls of the mansion.

Ganondorf, who was following closely to the front, nodded his head with a smile.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," he replied.

"Yeah, like how much you suck at life!" shouted someone from the back.

Ganon stopped and turned around in the poorly illuminated hall.

"Okay, who said that!?" he shouted seriously.

All the Smashers he faced immediately cowered in fear, except Peach because she was standing behind him. There was a pause as the Gerudo's eyes shifted from one fighter to the next.

"So, no one wants to confess eh?" he said with a grimace.

Again, there was some more silence until Peach smacked the King of Darkness on the shoulder.

"Will you cut it out! This is supposed to be a fun night! Stop ruining it for everyone!" she said.

Ganondorf turned to her and then back at everyone else.

"Grr. Fine..." he replied.

Soon enough, the march through the mansion continued, Peach still persisting in leading the way.

See, they never actually left the mansion like they planned. Upon hearing that Falcon and Lucas were going trick or treating, the rest of the team decided to just kick back and relax until they came back. So for the past few hours, over thirty people were sitting in a room, playing Rock Band. It was a real pain too, considering they only had one Wii. Those who had to sit off on the side were forced to join in on smaller games such as Monopoly or Snakes and Ladders. So, as anyone could well imagine, they wanted to get out of there first chance they could get.

Lucky for them, dinner time was just around the corner.

Peach opened the door leading to the dining room at the end of the hall, leading the rest of her companions into the room.

"Master Hand was kind enough to set up the table for us," she started as she glided down the long room, inspecting the table to make sure everything was neat and in order. "Too bad he has to get that coffee table repaired."

All the other Smashers went around and took their seats.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that," replied Link as he sat down in a chair. "Didn't it have something to do with Captain Falcon?"

"That's what I heard," responded Marth as he sat down next to him.

Peach walked down to the end of the table and stood next to the head seat.

"Speaking about Falcon, where is he? We can't start eating without him," she said.

All the Smashers looked around at the people next to them, as if they were hoping Falcon would be in the room already.

"Aw who cares about him. Can we just eat now? I'm starving!" responded Bowser.

Ganondorf, Wario, Yoshi, Kirby and Dedede nodded in agreement.

"No! Don't you people have any manners?" asked Peach.

Sonic leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the table. Some snickered at his actions, while others ridiculed him silently.

"Hey Peach, what's that in front of you?" asked Ike.

The princess looked down on the table to see a large brown sack that seemed to be filled to the max with some sort of round objects. She gave a queer look on her face.

"Hm? I didn't see this here," she said as she lifted the heavy bag. "Oh my, this thing's heavy!"

"What's in it?" asked Olimar with curiosity.

Peach took a peek inside and then looked up at everyone.

"Candy. This bag is full of candy."

Wario's mouth dropped to the floor.

"Candy!? Aw give it to me! Gimme gimme!" he shouted as he got up from his seat.

Ike, who was sitting next to him, grabbed his arm and brought the fat man back into his seat.

"Calm down, it's just candy," he said.

"JUST candy? It has to be a gift from Master Hand! Peach! Who is the candy for?"

"Ugh, it doesn't have a tag on it anywhere. I guess we can assume it's for all of us?"

"No way! It must be for me!" protested the fat Italian. "He must be rewarding me for my ten-win-streak!"

Ganondorf snorted immaturely.

"Oh please, you dunce. It's obvious that Master Hand left it here for everyone equally," he responded. "It really isn't that hard to figure out."

"I say he left it for me!" shouted King Dedede as he slammed a strong fist on the table.

"Poyo poyo!" replied Kirby as he hopped on the table and waved his arms around.

"What's he saying?" asked Link.

"He says he thinks the candy should go to him for being the most popular character in the series," responded Meta Knight, completely uninterested in the candy.

"I already told you guys I'M getting the candy!" shouted Wario as he jumped on the table.

"Nuh-uh! I AM!" replied Dedede as he climbed on too, causing the table to lean in his direction.

"We want candy too!" cried the Ice Climbers as they jumped on the table as well.

"You are all such idiots..." muttered Lucario as he closed his eyes in patience.

"Everyone sit down! If you all don't learn to share, then NO ONE's getting the candy!" cried Peach.

All the Smashers stared at her for a few moments.

"She just wants it all to herself!" shouted Ganondorf as he pointed a strong finger at her.

"So much for the voice of reason," replied Lucario.

Peach glanced around at everyone before dropping the bag on the table.

"Now hold on! I don't want this all to myself!" she protested.

"Lies! Let's get her!" shouted Wario as he charged at her while still on the table.

He had hoped to rally the others in an angry mob, but so far, he was the only one yelling. Ike pulled out his sword and stuck it in front of Wario's face, blocking his path from the candy.

"Sit down right now," commanded the mercenary.

The fat man gave the swordsman a death glare.

"You dare stop me from getting my candy?"

Before Ike knew it, the fat man had jumped on him, knocking him off his seat and dropping Ragnell in the process. The two fighters were wrestling and rolling around on the floor.

"Yeah! Go Wario! Kill-a him!" cheered Mario.

Luigi slapped him in the face.

"I thought-a he was-a your enemy!"

Peach slammed a fragile fist on the table.

"Will you all stop fighting! You're acting like children!"

Unfortunately, she didn't notice Snake creep up next to her in his box and swipe the candy bag from under her nose. He quickly shuffled to the nearby door while everyone was arguing, but was stopped when Sonic beat him there and locked it.

"Not so fast, big guy. The only one walking out of here with that candy is me," he said as he gave a thumbs up to himself.

Snake threw the box off himself and stood up, bag in hand.

"Dammit, how did you see me?" he asked.

By this time, all the others had noticed the stealth agent attempting to make a clean getaway.

Wario got off of Ike and dashed at Solid Snake.

"Gimme that bag!" he shouted as he tackled the mercenary to the ground.

Snake didn't anticipate the attack, causing the bag to fly up in the air and land right in Link's lap.

"What the-?" he started, but before he knew it, Dedede and Ganondorf had both jumped on him.

The other Smashers got to their feet too, some of them making a run for the candy, while others just stood by and watched.

Peach was still trying to get everybody to calm down.

"Stop it! Everyone stop! You're ruining the dinner!"

"Screw the dinner! I want the candy!" shouted Bowser as he slammed into Dedede just as he got his hands on the bag.

The candy sack flew up again in the air and landed in the center of the table. The unfortunate Hero of Time laid crushed beneath the bodies of Ganon, Bowser and Dedede. Sonic took the opportunity to bolt for the candy, but Olimar as close enough to swipe it first. He soon lost it to Donkey Kong, who then lost it to Marth, who then lost it to Ness.

ROB was standing in the corner of the room watching this whole scene. Although he had no need for candy, he decided to take the opportunity to record everything that was going on through his eyes. And things sure were getting hectic.

By now, Peach's cries of justice had been drowned out by screaming, shouting and yelling, all directed to the person who possessed the brown sack of candy. The bag quickly moved on to the next person as soon as it was received. Smashers rammed and tackled each other to the floor, just to get at the sugary goodness. Meta Knight and Lucario were also in on the action, even though they were in the same physical state as Link. Eventually, fist fights started breaking out, which soon evolved into all out brawls as each Smasher tried to take out the other. The dining table, which Master Hand had so carefully set out and decorated, was now upside-down on the floor, all his silverware and plates scattered in messes across the tile.

And still, the fighting continued.

"Gimme that bag!"

"Oh no you don't! It's mine!"

"I already claimed it for myself!"

"Don't make me kill you Sonic!"

"Sonic's the name, speed's my game!"

"Okay that's it!"

"I want my candy! Waaaahhh!"

"Poyo!"

"Everyone just CALM DOWN!"

"Don't hog it all! Gimme!"

"Gimme!"

"Gimme!"

"Waaahhh!"

"It's mine!"

"BEEP!"

"Game and Watch, get out of my way! You can't even eat this stuff!"

"I got the bag!"

"Not for long!"

"Hey everyone! Toon Link's got the candy!"

"Get back here you little runt!"

"Ah'll keel you!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!?"

Everyone stopped the crazy fighting and turned to the door behind Princess Peach, who was now crying her eyes out. Captain Falcon stood at the door, mouth open wide, in a brand new tuxedo. The sight of the messy dining hall caused him to stare in amazement.

"What are you guys doing with my candy!?" he shouted as he saw Wario sneaking off to the back of the room with a large sack slung over his shoulder.

The fat man immediately stopped on his toes and slowly turned to the racer.

"Heh heh. Um... We were just splitting it evenly amongst ourselves," he lied.

Captain Falcon's stare continued.

"That candy was so that I could pay off my debts! And now you guys are hoarding it like a bunch of animals!" he said.

"I told you!" shouted Ganondorf as he violently punched Sonic in the arm.

"OW! No you didn't!" replied the hedgehog as he rubbed the large bruise.

"I tried to tell them, Falcon! But they just wouldn't listen!" cried Peach who was still sobbing.

"Hey, I listened," replied Meta Knight, Lucario, Zelda and Samus all at once.

ROB, who was still standing in the corner of the room, smacked himself in the head.

"I don't care who listened or what! All I know is that YOU GUYS stole my candy! And you lied about leaving the mansion too! That's TWO faults in one day! And on Halloween too!" shouted Falcon as he pointed a strong finger at the group.

There as a long period of silence as the Smashers all took this in. They realized that they really had been acting like a bunch of animals (with the exception of Meta Knight, Lucario, Zelda, Samus and ROB).

Red pulled his cap down in shame.

"So... what are you going to do, Falcon?" he asked as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

Captain Falcon glanced around the room, glaring twice at the fat Italian with the bag.

"First, I'm going to say... I forgive you all," he said.

Everyone else smiled, some of them laughing, while others said a quick "Okay," or "Thank you."

"Second... I'M GONNA KILL YOU, WARIO!"

"WHAT!? Why me!?"

"BECAUSE if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't need to go out and get candy to pay off my debts! AND you're trying to take it away from me!"

The fat man blinked in embarrassment.

"Uh oh..." he muttered.

Falcon ran through the room at speeds rivaling that of Sonic. He dashed right up to Wario, charging a flaming fist of power.

"Falcon..."

"Wait stop!"

Wario pulled the bag up in front of his face.

"PAWNCH!"

Falcon's fist collided with the bag, causing it to explode and send all kinds of chocolates showering all over the room. The candy scattered across the dining hall, landing in any space that wasn't already occupied by a Smasher. Falcon turned around and watched as his prized winnings fell into the hands of each and every one of his friends. Falcon knew what was coming next, but prayed that it wouldn't happen.

Unfortunately, it did.

"CANDY!"

At once, all the Smashers, including ROB, dashed and fought for the scattered pieces of sugar. The fighting resumed and soon, people were being thrown across the room, all for the sake of who would get the last piece of candy. Wario ran past Falcon and joined the others in hope of salvaging some of the goodies.

Captain Falcon froze on the spot, but then gave a small smile.

"Heh. I hate to say it... but if you can't beat 'em... THEN YOU JOIN THEM!"

He dove into the pile of fighters and candy, slamming his fists into whoever had the last piece of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Food, bodies, and silverware were flying all over the room. The dining hall had been turned from a formal eating area to a madhouse. And strangely, none of the Smashers took a notice or care.

This is what Halloween is all about. No, it's not about stealing people's candy or beating up your friends. It's about spending time with the people you care about and enjoying the company of others. And the Smashers did this the only way they knew how: to brawl.

Unfortunately, their party didn't last too long because the door that wasn't locked suddenly opened.

"Ah, it's good to see you're all- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!?" shouted Master Hand as he entered the room.

Link's body soon flew into him, knocking him back outside and slamming the door shut instantly.

Falcon recalls that was the moment when the party had ceased.

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The next day, Master Hand had ordered all the Smashers to clean up the mess they made of the dining hall, from top to bottom. Everyone had to pick up every last piece of caramel that was left over from the candy fight. It was a tough task, but eventually they got everything fixed and things were back to normal again. Captain Falcon was still in debt to Wario. Fortunately, Wario decided to be generous after making a complete ass of himself and decided to pay Falcon back for all the candy he stole/ate/destroyed/lost. So, Falcon got his money in the end, and everyone else got their party in the end. Master Hand had the tournament back up and running and everything went back to the way it was before; everyone got what they wanted for Halloween.

Well, except Lucas; he never went to the party nor did he get any candy.

THE END

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the wait. I was a bit tied up for the past few weeks. But hey, I got this done by Halloween, and that's what really matters. Happy Halloween everyone!


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